Sunday, 26 September 2010
I have been silent about Donnie McClurkin's increasingly boring and blatant gaybashing. For a while, I pitied his tragic childhood so much that I excused his misguided venting. But, I can be silent no more. His recent interview in a gospel magazine is my last straw!
Donnie says that he was raped by an uncle as a child, and a cousin as a teen. I hate that these horrible acts violated his youth and wounded his spirit. I never condone any act of sexual violence or pedophilia. But, I also never blanket my hatreds. Why does Donnie feel the need to bash all homosexuals and curse us all in the name of God in order to detail his individual and uniquely tragic homosexual experiences? Why is he blaming all of us because he fell down? Why drag us all down with him and his molesters? Many of us are proud to stand and proclaim our homosexuality and our divinity. And, we dare to do so simultaneously and eternally.
Donnie says that he was not born a homosexual. He says his homosexuality was caused by his traumas. This may be so. It is also true that millions of girls and boys who are homosexually raped as children never become homosexuals. It is also true that millions of homosexuals are born gay. Millions of homosexuals are like myself. I was blessed with an idyllic childhood. I was extremely sheltered and never sexually molested by anyone. Yet, I am and I have always been a lesbian.
Why is Donnie unable to separate his own tragic experiences from droves of homosexuals who have never experienced anything nearly as tragic as his miserable and pathetic life? Why is Donnie's gaybashing getting more venomous? Could there be some irresistibly sexy new choir boy in his midst? Could his alleged heterosexual bliss be waning? Why is his gaybashing becoming more and more blasphemously toxic?
Maybe he should stop singing for a spell and actually study a bible. He will find the magic of redemption in biblical truth. He will be truly healed by the revolutionary rebellion of self love. He will find that God does not hate him, even if he is still a homosexual.
Donnie needs to take a break from his studios, and visit the biological sciences section of a library where he may research precisely how God creates homosexuals like me in virtually every living species. Unlike Donnie, we are proudly being who we are born to be. We are free of trauma and confusion. And, we refuse to be damned or slandered by any quasi-illiterate pseudo-christians. We refuse to be cursed by spiritually, intellectually, emotionally, and sexually inferior humans with god complexes as huge as their biblical fables.
Maybe some people need to believe that God hates homosexuality, simply so that they can have a reason to feign at resisting it. However, fear alone is rarely a sufficient deterrent for any reform. People fear Hell. Yet, they flagrantly sin by boldly judging homosexuals incessantly. People fear prison. Yet, they commit heinous crimes daily. Poor Donnie and all of his fellow "holy" gaybashers fear homosexuality. Yet, what do they do in the dark?
Thousands of gaybashing Sunday pastors spend Saturday nights sexing with their gay choir directors. Millions of macho men who bash homosexual men are perpetually drunken with lust for lesbians. I have to beat men off with sticks daily. And, when they find out I am a lesbian, I have to carry bigger sticks.
Sex is not sexuality. Sex is a physical act. Sexuality is an emotional identity. One can die a virgin, gaybash eternally, marry a member of the opposite sex, claim to be sexually healed, abstain, procreate, or be celibate for life, and still be a homosexual all the while. We all know who we are in our hearts, irrespective of the actions and words we use as camouflage.
If Donnie was as cured and blissful as he claims to be, he would not have time to hate and slander us homosexuals as he does. Watch those haters who are loudest, always. Like Eddie Murphy, Andre 3000, and J. Edgar Hoover, they always protest far too much...
If he was truly Christian, Donnie would reserve his energies to help others who were raped and confused like himself. He would be too busy loving them to hate and curse all of us. He would be a counselor not a liar. He would be a comforter not a murderer of spirits and souls. He would testify rather than signify. He would find more peace and piss me off less.
Has Donnie forgotten how alienated he felt in churches before his alleged reform? Has he forgotten the uniquely excruciating pain of divine hatred and spiritual rejection? The only pain that is worse is the pain of living a lie. I believe Donnie knows that greater pain...
The black church has rivers of blood on its collective hands. Donnie's hands grow bloodier every time I hear him speak...Surely he remembers all of the lost souls he met in clubs, bars and restrooms. Surely he has not forgotten all of those wounded gays whose families have told them: "We hate you! God hates you! You are going to hell!" So they are wandering and wallowing in vices. They are whores, alcoholics, and junkies because they know they are homosexuals. They know they cannot be "healed" or "fixed". So, they figure they will fully enjoy their doom to Hell. And, when they get there, they will make sure that they do not have to wait in that long line...behind all those preachers and gospel celebrities who judged them until they hated themselves.
Fortunately, homosexuals like myself are immune to such madness and moronism. We refuse to be broken. We expose biblical lies. We excel in defiance. We know that we are divine. We know God. And, we know your bibles. You know that we are your worst nightmares. And, we hate your REAL sins far more than you could ever even begin to hate our mythical "sin". That makes us invincible.
And, we love being so. We love our gay lives. We love our gay selves. Like Phyllis Hyman sang: "We share a sacred love". Like Bernadette Cooper sang:"There ain't nothing you can do." Like Diana Ross sang: "If there's a cure for this, I don't want it."
We are here. Get used to it. We have always been here. We will be here forever. And, we pray for ignorant, lost, and confused souls like Donnie. We know them well. They send our gaydars into red alert! Their offenses make those alarms match the color of our rage.